Well, that’s not exactly true. In sales it’s called first loser and you don’t get any kind of a medal. If you are a commissioned salesperson, being first loser might also mean being the last one to eat. That may seem harsh but, it is still reality and medals, even if they were awarded, don’t pay the bills.

Sales being the way it is … you can’t, and you won’t, win them all. Because of this, having a thick skin is not only a plus, it is a necessary attribute for those who will be able to thrive, let alone even survive, in this profession. But, having a thick skin won’t pay the bills either.

I flat out hate losing. I’m not a bad loser, mind you but, I still hate losing nevertheless and maybe even more than the loss of income that results when I do. In the words of General George S Patton …

“No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.”

Better my competitor than me. However, having been at this for some 37 years, I have managed to hone certain steps which have been designed to ensure that even losing will still be a profitable experience. You might lose a battle but you can still win the war!

Don’t be a loser!

There is a huge difference between losing and being a loser. You might be a loser if .. you practice the language of losers …

“I didn’t want that deal anyway” – Then why are you working it?
“I wasn’t given a fair shot” – Did you earn one?
“My price wasn’t competitive enough” – Were you over their budget or did you fail to justify the price that you were asking?

What do these statements have in common? They dismiss the loss off-hand by rationalizing the result. If these scenarios were true, you should have correctly identified these conditions and removed yourself at the start of the deal instead of you being removed at the end of it but, you didn’t. The good news is that, even in losing, you can still be a winner …

Why did you lose?

This process calls for total honesty and self-evaluation and, if that is uncomfortable for you, you’ll be even less enthusiastic about some of the other suggestions that are found in this article.

Where did you go wrong? – Go through the deal step-by-step and isolate the causes.
Did you do everything that you could? – Or did you cut corners? Maybe you were overconfident?
Were you fully prepared? – Or did you “wing it”?
Was your client qualified? – If they did not have the money, the authority, and the need … they weren’t and you blew it.
Did you understand the client’s needs? – Did your client confirm your understanding of these needs? There is a big difference between our perception and theirs.
Did you present the right solution to meet their needs? – Did the client agree or did you ass/u/me?
Did you earn the right to ask for the order? – If you hesitate when answering this question … you probably didn’t.
Were you the consummate professional? – Were you on-time, responsive, and did you communicate in a timely manner?
Did you exceed your customer’s expectations? – This would appear to be a “no”.

If you can answer “yes” to each of these questions, there is no shame. However, this still does not change the fact that you are still first loser. Maybe even second loser. My real guess is that, if you can honestly answer “yes” to all of these questions, you would be the one jumping on top of that podium, gold dangling around your neck, and your national anthem playing in the background. So, for the sake of argument, let’s just say that maybe you missed one or two items on the list.

Asking yourself these tough questions is the beginning to developing a roadmap for avoiding future repeat performances. That is providing that you are willing to learn and to grow. Through adversity, there can be redemption and you have not failed providing that you choose to fail forward by implementing lessons for needed improvement. And, if you did win? What did you do right and what can you do to make sure that you can duplicate this success?

So, you lost. Now what?

How will you move forward from this unfortunate event?

Were you gracious? – Or did you kick and scream like a spoiled brat, make references to your competitor’s mother, and basically lock yourself out of this company … forever?
Did you ask your customer why you didn’t win the deal? – You might be amazed at their answers and it sure beats guessing with yours!
Did you request an opportunity at future business? – Providing you have been professional and gracious, your customer should want you to compete on future business and may even grant you an inside track!
Did you ask for a referral or for a testimonial? – Once again, if you did everything right but still lost the deal, your customer may feel even worse about you not getting the business than you do (hard to believe). Because of this, they may actually jump at an opportunity to refer you to others (and to relieve their guilty conscience).
What did you learn? – This exercise is only as good as what you learn from it.
What are your plans for change? – There’s wishing and there is doing and, unless you are sporting ruby slippers, doing things right the next time is the only way that you will succeed!

In the end, even losing can be winning if we walk away from the deal with more than just an empty hand. Every opportunity, whether a win or a loss, provides you with a learning experience that has the potential to increase your future earnings. Grab that!

This post was written as part of the IBM for Midsize Business program, which provides midsize businesses with the tools, expertise and solutions they need to become engines of a smarter planet. I’ve been compensated to contribute to this program, but the opinions expressed in this post are my own and don’t necessarily represent IBM’s positions, strategies or opinions.

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Craig M. Jamieson

Managing Member at Adaptive Business Services

Craig M. Jamieson is a lifelong B2B salesperson, manager, owner, and a networking enthusiast. Adaptive Business Services provides solutions related to the sales professional. We are a Nimble CRM Solution Partner. Craig also conducts training and workshops primarily in social selling and communication skills. Craig is also the author of "The Small Business' Guide to Social CRM", now available on Amazon!