Thoughts On Social Media's "Law Of Attraction"

This post was prompted by a recent article on Social Media Today by Jillian Ney titled “What’s in a Facebook ‘Like’? Not a Lot If You Have to Ask for It“. Not only is this something that I have thought about for quite some time, it is something that I have ranted about on a variety of occasions. When did the Social Media Law of Attraction become the Social Media Law of Begging? The simple answer is that, for many, it has always been that way. Part of me would have thought that this practice would be on the decline as folks became more educated but, that part of me would be wrong. If anything, it has gotten worse. Only by the grace of God and a few tricks that I have learned along the way have I managed to minimize this onslaught.

If you are at all active on Social Media, you already know the drill …

“Like my Facebook page!” Why?
“Like somebody else’s Facebook page!” Why? Are they paying you to do this? (probably, yes)
“Follow me!” And I should do this because …?
“Since you love me so much, connect with me on LinkedIn!” How fortunate for Craig that you have taken pity upon me.
“If you want to give me a K+ on Klout, here is the link.” I did not make this up.
“Vote for me!” Who are you again?
“Please post this on my page or group.” If I wanted to do that, I would have done it in the first place but, let me drop everything else and take care of that for you right now.
“Please recommend or endorse me.” We have never even spoken on the phone let alone met and I am going to endorse you??

Here’s my top list of offenders …

Auto DM’s (direct messages) on Twitter. How do you know if it is an Auto DM? It will never start off with your name and probably 80% of them will suggest that you do something for them (like me, follow me, connect with me, go to my blog). The vast majority of these are generated by a free service called SocialOomph. I like SocialOomph and even use it for certain functions but, not for Auto DM’s. Here is an article by TwiTip with step-by-step directions on how to opt out of receiving these from this service. You owe me one! I also have email notifications, all email notifications, turned off on Twitter.
People who want to connect with me on LinkedIn because we are already “friends”. If we are so close, how come I don’t recognize your name? I know we have never met as I have never traveled to Shanghai. Now then, if we have met even casually, at least take the time to remind me of that encounter and maybe why I would want to accept your request. I realize that this means that you will need to actually personalize your invitation as opposed to just pushing a button but, you did want to connect. Yes?
Please read the above but, simply substitute the word “Facebook” for “LinkedIn”.
“Will you endorse/recommend me?” This is generally found on LinkedIn but is also becoming more common on Facebook via Branchout. Your name again was …?

Please notice the common theme to my responses. We all have a favorite radio station and it is called WIIFM (What’s In It For Me?). I know what’s in it for you but, you had best tune to my station first if you are to have any hope of me ever listening to yours.

Why has this become so prevalent? There are a number of reasons …

Some people are inherently lazy.
A whole lot of people don’t know any better as they have never been shown the light.
Many could really care less. These same people are largely motivated by increasing their numbers, scalp count, on the social networks.
The services themselves do everything in their power to promote these actions. They suggest people that you may wish to connect to. They ask you to send out requests for endorsements or recommendations. They make inviting people to connect a “check box action” with a template invitation.
Because they work. I hate to say that but, much like negative ads in politics (’tis the season), they seem to work. They just don’t work on me.

My entire adult life has been spent in B2B sales. I’ve run many many sales teams and trained 100’s of salespeople. When a company comes to me and says “Can you teach my salespeople how to close?”, 90% of the time it’s not their inability to “close” that is the problem. It is their inability to “earn the right” to ask for that order in the first place. They have not given their prospect any compelling reason to do business with them. They have not developed any sort of relationship let alone demonstrated their commitment to further developing that relationship going forward. They are quite simply in no position to ask for the order to begin with.

Social media is the law of “attraction” vs. “interruption”. You attract others through your credibility, your honesty, your direct engagement, and your humanity. You demonstrate and bring value to the relationship. Then, and only then, have you earned the right to ask me for anything and, having done so, I’m going to bend over backwards to see if I can accommodate your request! Well, if it involves something illegal or immoral, maybe not 🙂

What are your thoughts on this topic? I plan on doing a separate post on positive ways to “attract” people and would love to include your comments in that article! See, there is something in that for both of us!

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Craig M. Jamieson

Managing Member at Adaptive Business Services

Craig M. Jamieson is a lifelong B2B salesperson, manager, owner, and a networking enthusiast. Adaptive Business Services provides solutions related to the sales professional. We are a Nimble CRM Solution Partner. Craig also conducts training and workshops primarily in social selling and communication skills. Craig is also the author of "The Small Business' Guide to Social CRM", now available on Amazon!