Before we can even begin to hope to be able to assess the behaviors of others and to adapt our messages to best meet their needs, it is critical that we first develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and this would include our tendencies.
This process can be further complicated by the fact that we might perceive ourselves one way while others may have an entirely different perception of our actions. Guess whose perception counts? That’s right. It’s not yours. That being said, our perceptions of ourselves are generally quite accurate. The discrepancies between what we perceive and what others perceive will generally arise in the delivery of our message and/or how we might behave under moderate to severe pressure.
Delivery is the key element in behavioral selling as we will need to adjust our messages based on the behavioral (communication) styles that are presented by others.
There are three ways that I know of that can be helpful in developing a closer understanding of ourselves …
- Take a real long look in the mirror and ask yourself the tough questions. This would also include critically evaluating your communication performance after each and every sales call.
- Ask those who are closest to you what their perceptions of you might be. Are you optimistic? Quick to anger? Questioning? Do you care about people or about the task at hand? Would they consider you an extrovert or an introvert?
- Take an assessment. The questionnaire itself is only $90 and it takes less than 10 minutes to get a 20 plus page report that goes very in depth.
The best answer is … do all three! I’m going to open up my kimono here and talk about my own tendencies. At the end of this article you will also find an actual report that supports my shortcomings.
My Positives
- I’m generally diplomatic
- I pay close attention to detail
- I have a high sense of urgency and competitiveness
- I can be very direct and to the point
- I like to accomplish things through people
- I am generally sociable
- I am typically open-minded
My Negatives
- I can be seen as demanding and aggressive
- Others might see me as controlling and opinionated
- My high sense of urgency can negatively affect my listening skills
- I am quickly and easily bored
- I can be both impetuous and impulsive
- I am very task oriented which can negatively affect my relationship skills
- I have a temper
Here are the best and the worst parts … all of this is true and if you ask just about anybody who knows me … they will concur! Sometimes developing a closer understanding of ourselves can be a painful, as well as a fulfilling, process.
So, why is any of this important? It is important because my preferred communication style (simplified) is typically fast-paced and task focused. This will work well with somebody who is also fast-paced and task focused. In other words … someone like me. The problem is … very few people that I meet are like Craig and unless Craig can adapt his communication style to mirror that of the other person, the chances that Craig will successfully complete this sale will be inherently low.
Step #1 – Understand Ourselves. Next week we will start to learn how to assess others. From there we will go on to how to adapt our messages to meet those needs and we will specifically discuss how, by understanding ourselves, we can develop specific strategies which will take our own tendencies into account.