Social Communities - It's Time To Meet The Neighbors

Social networks are very much like communities. Once you move in you can choose to either get out and meet your new neighbors or you can decide to be the “odd family” that never ventures past their front door. In the world of social media, there are tons of neighborhoods to choose from and you may or may not take up residence in more than one home. Dependent on time spent at each location, and on your needs, one community might house your main domicile while others may end up being more like a vacation property.

Every neighborhood I have ever lived in also comes with its fair share of cliques … neighbors who naturally band together based on mutual interests, geographic proximity, or both. In social, we might call these groups on LinkedIn and Facebook, communities on Google+, or maybe even tweetchats on Twitter. Just as we have our own inner circles, others are likely already in circles of their own. We may see advantages in joining their circles and they may feel the same about ours.

Having just moved in, it’s natural that we meet our closest neighbors first. They will, hopefully, introduce us to other neighbors and so on. Soon bbq’s and get togethers are starting up and, if you have played your cards right, you will be invited to meet a whole bunch of your neighbors in one convenient location. Eventually, you will no longer be the new family and you will be in a position to do for the next arrivals what was so graciously done for you … help them to get acquainted.

Building your connections in sales is absolutely no different than any of the above scenarios and your social network communities will become your virtual neighborhoods. If you are in sales, these will also be your primary game reserves. Yes, unlike the big city, you can (and should) hunt in your own backyard. Every neighborhood is a little bit different not only in terms of who lives there but, also in terms of their interests and of their expectations. Call them “association covenants and restrictions”. While Twitter might be beachfront property, LinkedIn might be more akin to the board room. You must dress and act appropriately for each. Still, some rules of conduct are universal …

If you are waiting for everybody else to introduce themselves first, you might be in for a long wait – If you are looking to expand your network, there are two ways to do it. You find and invite others to connect or you attract others and they will invite you to connect. I would strongly suggest that you do … both!

If you don’t answer the door or respond to invitations, you will be eating alone – I am both amazed and disgusted at people’s lack of responsiveness today! Phone calls, emails, social network messaging, … you name it. I regularly encounter salespeople who will not even respond to, let alone follow-up on, referrals. I know that you are busy. I know that you are overwhelmed. I really don’t care what your reasons are, if you don’t change your ways, you will be neither.

If you bust into conversations uninvited, you won’t be on the guest list for the next picnic – The rules of engagement dictate that you enter any conversation at the appropriate time and with the appropriate message. The only way to determine both is to shut your pie-hole and learn to listen! Don’t open your pie-hole until dessert is served.

You don’t bring pork chops to a kosher BBQ – Please don’t use LinkedIn to tell me what you had for breakfast. If you feel that compelled to share that, please do it on Facebook or Twitter. You either already have, or have access to, appropriate messages and content that are well designed for each network. Respect that!

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife – You are likely going to encounter neighbors who may be marketing to your same segment. If you think that your newly found friendship is an easy avenue to unhooking someone else’s deal or client, you may end up getting stoned … in the biblical sense.

A simple gesture will open more doors than will a full-frontal attack – There is just something very creepy about people who come up to you and introduce themselves as “your new best friend”. Gives me the willies. What I do think is very effective, and this is only as one example, is to start the engagement process on Twitter with things like replies and retweets, move into more direct engagement (still on Twitter), and then seek to formalize you relationship with a personalized invitation on LinkedIn.

Manners matter – This includes the liberal use of please and thank you. This includes thanking people for referring you. This includes politely asking for help rather than demanding that others acquiesce to your will. Since demonstrations of even the most basic of manners seem to be found so infrequently, you will instantly separate yourself from the rest of the herd.

Listen to, and show interest in, others more than yourself – The only two people besides you who think that you are “all that” are your mom and your dog. Most people will happily tell you about themselves. The more you understand your neighbor, the better you will be able to determine if, in fact, you may be able to assist them in any way. Mind you, this is not always about selling them something. Maybe they just need to borrow your rake. Either way, you win!

The behavior of your children, your pets, and of your friends will reflect on you within the rest of the community – Those you choose to associate with, those whom you refer, will all reflect back on one person only in the eyes of your client .. you. And remember … if you choose to lie down with dogs, you will get fleas and you might find yourself doing more than apologizing. We are judged by the company that we keep.

Givers will generally get back much more than they give – Funny how that works. If you have not tried this, do so! It also has the amazing effect of making you feel good all over.

Takers are soon identified and will be treated as such – Parasites, in my experience, don’t seem to sell too much. As far as that goes, it’s pretty tough to sell anything when you have been 86’d from all community events.

Always treat your neighbor’s property as you would your own home – Boorish behavior is rarely tolerated and I regularly disconnect from those who do not respect that which is mine.

Building, and maintaining, relationships with your neighbors is a continuous process – Yes but, what have you done for me lately? Relationships take continuous work and are a lifelong vocation.

Successful selling has always been based on our ability to discover and nurture new relationships. Never before have we had the ability to do so in such a dynamic and far-reaching fashion. Whether you take advantage of these opportunities to become an active part of your new communities, is entirely up to you. If you prefer to stay indoors with the drapes drawn well … you will reap what you sow and it’s going to be a pretty poor harvest.

In the final analysis, it should be your goal to be perceived as being the “good neighbor”. Good neighbors are friendly, helpful, respectful, empathetic, and are concerned more about others than they are about themselves. Now substitute the word “salesperson” for “neighbor”.

This post was written as part of the IBM for Midsize Business program, which provides midsize businesses with the tools, expertise and solutions they need to become engines of a smarter planet. I’ve been compensated to contribute to this program, but the opinions expressed in this post are my own and don’t necessarily represent IBM’s positions, strategies or opinions.

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Craig M. Jamieson

Managing Member at Adaptive Business Services

Craig M. Jamieson is a lifelong B2B salesperson, manager, owner, and a networking enthusiast. Adaptive Business Services provides solutions related to the sales professional. We are a Nimble CRM Solution Partner. Craig also conducts training and workshops primarily in social selling and communication skills. Craig is also the author of "The Small Business' Guide to Social CRM", now available on Amazon!