Actually, there are two best things. True confession time. As closely as I can determine, I spent the 20 years between 1985 and 2005 as a functioning alcoholic. During that time, I went from high functioning to functioning to barely functioning for those last 5 years.
In 2005, I just about stopped functioning, hit bottom, and got help. Let’s just say, without going into the details, that God decided to send me a strong message. No more subtle hints. This time he was loud and clear.
Mind you, this was not the first time that I had attempted to control my drinking. There had been counseling, pharmaceuticals, a short stay in-patient followed by three weeks of outpatient, and brushes with AA. None of it stuck. I could not control that which was uncontrollable.
In October of 2005, I checked myself into a 28-day program. Still, I went kicking and screaming, but I was backed into a corner. This was the first best thing that I ever did for myself. I followed those 28 days with probably 5 years of intense work in AA. Saved my life.
I had resigned my previous management position in June of that year. Come January 2006, I was beginning to think about my next step work wise. Even with a clear head, I was feeling pretty unsure about myself and this included nagging doubts about my ability to perform effectively in any position.
Being sober was not a normal state for me. I was used to working under various levels of influence and, until the last 5 years or so, I had been able to do that at a reasonably high level. What now? I thought that drinking gave me confidence. I was wrong. Warped thinking.
Managing people was out of the question and for two reasons. I had spent just about my entire selling life as a manager and I was over it. More importantly, I saw management as a potential trigger that could risk my sobriety.
I always loved selling but had not done so as my primary duty in well over 30 years. Could I sell and survive now? Good question. My confidence level was still quite low and I would need to figure out a situation that would work for me. Next, I needed to find somebody who would be willing to work with my requirements.
I must have been an idiot, or I had long-term drain bamage from the alcohol, but I decided to become an independent sales contractor in an industry where I had never heard of anyone else serving in that capacity. I would be aligned with one company only, mind you. The independent part of this deal meant …
- No salary
- No draw
- No expenses
- No benefits
- No leads
- Nobody riding my ass
What’s not to love for an employer! I sell something and you pay me. I don’t and you don’t. In return, you leave me the f’ alone. A match made in heaven! This was the second best thing professionally that I ever did for myself. Along the way, there were several offers to return to management but I held fast.
So, how did it work out? Awesome! I have never had so much fun in my entire B2B career. And, I was good. I was very good. Looking back, what if I had been sober for my entire career? Coulda’, shoulda’, woulda’.
My confidence level had never been higher and I have worked totally independently since that time. Today I am still totally independent. Have been so since 2008. Me, myself, and I. The Great Recession pushed me in new directions just as COVID has done today.
Even better, by the grace of God, I’m still sober. The promise of AA came true. My desire to drink alcohol was 100% removed. Obviously, my fears of not being able to function socially as a recovering alcoholic were totally unfounded. I now see life’s challenges as just another opportunity for growth.
Craig M. Jamieson
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